Friday, November 10, 2006

There & Back Again

On Wednesday afternoon the Davebeast & I went to Perth, he for a job interview and me to scout a previously unvisited wool shop. There was a fabric cum craft shop I was also very keen to visit, and I had made a list of charity shop addresses. Preparation is everything, you know.

Things did not go according to plan. The fabric/craft shop was no more - dead dead dead - but there were far more charity shops than listed in Scoot. I must have been in at least six or seven, and Davebeast thinks I missed one.

I scored Charity Shop yarn - lurid pink mohair, royal blue mohair, black chunky & red chunky. There may have also been some yarn buying in the wool shop and elsewhere but I couldn't possibly comment. No piccies because it's been too dark to take decent ones.

I also returned home with some lovely patterns. I've scanned in the most horrific ones for your amusement. I think Dave was praying for salvation at one point as I rummaged through folders and folders of vintage patterns - well, we were in the Salvation Army Shop :D

I made it home in one piece but I've been suffering ever since. I walked too far and carried too much. Wednesday night I sprayed pretty much my entire body with Ralgex and then got a headache from the stink. Last night we only had to spray my feet and ankles. Ugh. Stinky.

There's something about the arrangement of the legs in this one which spooks me. The legs seem to match in odd ways. I'm sure the two brown socks legs belong together but the photographer must have been sitting on the guy's head. It's just cos the brown leg and beige leg don't seem to match.

This little booklet looks sweet and innocous until you realise it contains the Scariest Doll Evar!

A small, sensible, part of my brain says that the doll's face has been retouched or redrawn or something but the part that fears the dark says "No, that's a real doll and it's coming to get you!"Ah, the 1970s. Need I say anything more?

Apart from the fact that it was a very scary decade for male models. Gordon Bennett, that orange one is nearly as petrifying as the doll. I don't know if you'll be able to tell from the reduced picture size but the orange helmet is knitted in two pieces which are sewn together, according to the instructions. But it looks as if the bottom folds down and the crown part lifts out, creating a kind of topless egg cosy effect. You just have to shag a man wearing a topless egg cosy, don't you? He obviously has big tackle to dare to wear something that hideous.

Currently, I'm knitting away on Dr Sordid's Christmas pressie. I've finished the body already and am well pleased with my progress. It is knitting up far faster than I had anticipated, so I should have it finished well before Christmas. I am certain that this particular knitted item pays full, respectful homage to his evil past. I can visualise the panic on his face as he reads this, and then the relief as he remembers that I never finish anything.

Or do I? *manic laughter*

Oh, a random passer-by told me I looked like a demented bumble bee in heat. I guess it was a combination of my Winston Churchill physique and my hat.

This hat is currently available in the men's section of Debenhams. I'm telling you this because I know that this hat is soooo fine you all want one.


nanatoo said...

So many points to make!
1) No I do NOT have to shag eggcosyhat man.
2) That hat cannot be on sale in Debenhams, I refuse to believe it.
3)Why is it like a demented bumble bee on heat?
4)That doll is so scary (and I thought Walter Hottle Bottle was scary when I reminded myself of him this week) that I can't click on the picture. You win the prize for scariest. She puts Chuckie to shame.

dreamcatcher said...

The hat looks more like an anemone than anything else, to me at least :-D

And ARGHHH that doll. I will have nightmares now :-o Who on earth would want that in their house! And LOL at the other patterns, especially the socks/legs. That is just ODD :-D

Daisy said...

Oh crikey, those patterns. The doll is definitely going to give me nightmares and those legs are just plain weird. I think they belong to a mutant person with too many legs and attached at odd angles.

Rain said...

What a hat! I love it.

That doll would give you serious nightmares - you wouldn't want it under the bed, that's for sure.

What is it with vintage patterns - they are seriously comedy. I too seem to find nothing but lurid mohair in charity shops, problem is - I rather quite like it.

ra said...

surely the guy with the brown socks IS the photographer?

acrylik said...

too scary... I'm frightened by the doll.

Anonymous said...

Isn't that that AWFUL hat you insisted on wearing to Little Britain Live? Readers, if you think Matt Lucas has ridiculous taste in clothes, you should see that hat in situe...

And you'd better be knitting me something nice, girl. No elephant foetii, please.

And how did the job interview go?

Word verification: mufupnb. Made me laugh, anyway...

Dr Sordid
(posting anonymously, thanks to Blogger Beta (better, my arse.)

Lindsey said...

Dr S, it isn't an awful hat - you just got upset when those strangers started talking to us. I'm supposed the anti-social one. Mebbe I get you your own hat for Crimbo. The job interview has been unsuccessful :( I think it was the horrible pink colour that did for the elephant foetus.

Ra - You're right, either the photographer is wearing the brown socks or he's sitting on the face of the man who is.

I got iyoopoy