Monday, May 01, 2006

Diary of a Lunatic, Part Umpteen

Dear Universe Today I gave my buttons a lovely, foamy bubble bath. I wore pink rubber gloves, they wore nothing *giggle*. After I had soaped them all over, I dried them on a thick fluffy towel, before leaving them to loll (still unclothed) in front of the television.

They were such dirty, dirty buttons, you see. I had to bathe them, honestly. They might have contaminated my other buttons with their dirty dirty dust.

There's lady opened a thrift shop down the road. She has filled large matchboxes with assorted buttons for 25p a box. I've bought eight boxes, that's a lot of buttons. They had spent unspecified number of decades (yup, decades) in a cellar, so they were filthy.

I think I'm breaking Dave.

"Lindsey, why are there buttons in the kitchen sink?"
"Oh! They must have escaped while I was giving them a bath."
"Okay then. Here they are."

Good job he was out tonight. I was felting the bag I knitted last night. I decided to use the bathroom basin because the height is better for my back. I underestimated considerably the number of soap suds caused and the amount of energy required. So I stripped down to my undies.

Talk about knitting domination porn.

Undies, pink rubber gloves, potato masher, bazillions of bubbles. You think the image in your head is bad? I lived it.

This is the bag pre-felting. That is the tip of a handknitted sock. 'New Tricks' is starting, time for me to go and empathise with Brian.

See ya later.


nanatoo said...

Lindsey, you're a crack-up :D Liking the bag so far, and the pictures you've conjured up, hehe.

nanatoo said...

Forgot to say, "Lovely button pic" because to me a picture of buttons is as gorgeous as a picture of marbles. Just lovely.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I worry about you dear. Then I remember the conversations we've had over the years and then I worry more about myself. ;)

Desperate Mousewife said...

Oh those wanton buttons! LOL at you felting in your undies. Sounds like somthing I might do, but probably not admit to, as mine would be more disaster movie than knitting porn.

They are very pretty buttons though, I can see how you were tempted.

Minnieknits said...

Ah now, thats not fair - do you not know my bladder is weak and outbursts of laughter can spell disaster for me! I am trying to wipe the thought of felting in your undies from my mind and its just not going! lol!

Thank goodness I live hundreds of miles from you - I just can't bear the thought of missing out on all the bargains you keep finding up there! Essex people are so tight with their stuff, nothing gets given away!

New tricks - I'm more of an Amanda Redman kind - hard, cold and dress inappropriately for my age!!
But I can see why you empathise with Brian - am I reading a kindred soul!? :-)

Lindsey said...

I woke up laughing during the night. The scene in my bathroom seemed strangely familiar and it came to me in a dream.

Brad Pitt, Fight Club, rubber gloves and rotary whisk, (I think). Just swap Brad for a short, rotund woman with wild hair & wilder eyes. And a masher, though if I'd had a rotary handwhisk I'd have used it.